As is common knowledge by now, vampires can live forever. It feels like the makers of the Twilight franchise have taken a leaf out of that particular vampire book by stretching out the four novels written by Stephenie Meyers to make their film counterparts feel like they last for eternity.

The release of Eclipse means that the saga has reached its halfway point, with the last instalment Breaking Dawn, being released in – surprise surprise – two parts. That’s right, it’s going to be a while before a stake can finally be hammered into this animal.

The story resumes back in sleepy old Forks, Washington, with Bella (Kristen Stewart) and her high school pals gearing up for graduation. The problem for Bella is, life never has a way of going to plan, not when you’re dating vampire hunk Edward (Robert Pattinson). News has spread that a large amount of people are mysteriously disappearing, so much so that Ed and his family fear that there’s a vampire connection and that Bella could be in danger.

The problem is, they don’t feel they’re suitably equipped to deal with whatever evil comes their way. This is when Jacob (Taylor Lautner) decides that he and his fellow werewolves will help out in protecting Bella. This comes as no surprise, considering that Jacob has already revealed his true feelings for her; He thinks she’s hot.

So not only does Bella find that she’s the target of an unknown source, but, possibly more importantly, she finds herself very much at the top of a rather peculiar love triangle; after all, it’s not every day that a gal finds a vampire and a werewolf fighting for her affections.

Nothing says casual like a Gap exclusive for vampires. For nights in or out.

What takes place within the film’s two hour and a bit duration is probably the longest display of cock blocking ever committed to celluloid. If you are not thirteen and don’t have like the biggest crushes on Pattinson and Lautner, Eclipse may not be for you, as the film constantly revolves around this love-struck trio. The main problem is, it doesn’t really allow for anything else to take place. And when it does try and take a well-deserved breather from the main soppy, lovey-dovey story, it draws out unnecessary back stories from a few minor characters.

Considering it’s supposed to be a story rich with vampires and werewolves, very little action takes place. What action there is feels awkwardly nailed on at the end.

And there lies the on-going problem with the entire Twilight series to date. Far too much emphasis is placed on the three leads and, unfortunately for them, they struggle to deliver any depth in their performances. Sure, there’s plenty of emoting going on, but all without any emotion. Stewart just looks continually depressed throughout, with just a glint in her eye revealing that she longs for a comedy or something simply more fun to do.

Pattinson looks equally out of place, as he yet again has to constantly smile politely and smoulder with his pale complexion in every frame. But at least he gets to keep his kit on, unlike poor Lautner. Despite the film’s lucrative budget, there appears that very little money was left for his costumes, leaving him to convey all his deep and complex emotions wearing nothing more than shorts for the entire film. He’ll catch his death, just wait and see.

With similar problems throughout all three films, perhaps the fact that all of them were directed by three very inexperienced directors is the main factor. With the franchise such a homogenised experience, it’s got to be difficult for any one person to stamp their episode with any real creativity or individual flair.

That said, in places the film attempts to not take itself or its source material too seriously, but these moments are few and far between. And just because it has a lot of vampires in it, doesn’t mean that the film itself shouldn’t have a heart. That’s the organ that is truly missing from this series.

If you are thirteen however (or even a tad older – shame on you) and have enjoyed the last two films, Eclipse is sure not to disappoint. But then, you’ve already been ‘glamoured’(it’s a vampire thing), and there’s clearly no hope left for you. If you are not die-hard fan of the series however, or you haven’t seen the first two in the series, then this effort is unlikely to turn you. If that’s the case, you should count yourself bloody lucky and avoid it at all cost.