A general rule of thumb is, as soon as you can count the amount of sequels a film has on one hand, it’s one finger too many. In 2004 the first Saw film was released – its story was inventive, industrial basement setting was both unsettling and claustrophobic and methods of torture - both mental and physical - were creative, gruesome and highly entertaining.

And of course as soon as a film becomes a franchise, each subsequent sequel gets further watered down until…well, this. Welcome to the mess that is Saw V.

You even get the impression that the film company that made it have all but given up on the series, as they hired the production designer (David Hackl) of the previous three Saws to direct it. That’s the equivalent of the work experience boy taking the lead in the latest series of Two Pints Of Lager: not only will no one notice the difference, no one will care.

For the love of God, don't make me watch this!

And even though Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) died in the last instalment, he returns through the lazy technique known as flashbacks. Two others from the last film also return, in the shape of Agent Strahm (Scott Patterson) and Detective Hoffman (Costas Mandylor). However, their roles change somewhat here, as one of them becomes Jigsaw’s apprentice, with the other attempting to catch him in the act. While this little cat and mouse malarkey is being played out, five new victims are fighting for their lives in Jigsaw’s lair of dastardly mechanic tricks.

What twists the film tries so hard to achieve, end up being nothing less than tiny visible folds. The subterranean locale that was once quite foreboding is now as familiar as the Rovers Return, and just as menacing. The methods of torture have also lost all semblance of the macabre, feeling like the kind of thing you’d find in the London Dungeons to scare the rugrats.

And the news just gets worse. It appears that Saw VI could be a reality. Now that really is shocking. If that’s the case, don’t be surprised if you get a knock on the door and asked to direct it.