There’s one thing that actors on screen share with couples, and that’s beneficial contracts to all those concerned. Oh and chemistry.

It’s ironic then that this black comedy about a couple facing conflicts probably only has the former, and definitely not the latter.

Having made an instant impression with one another physically when they first met in London, Ivy (Olivia Colman) and Theo (Benedict Cumberbatch), find themselves together still, living in California, and raising their two young children.

Theo is an architect, flying high, who encourages Ivy to do more with her culinary skills, and supports her as she opens a restaurant of her own by the beach. To both their surprise, the restaurant, We’ve Got Crabs, is a hit, at just a time when Theo’s career takes a hit of the bad variety.

It’s this reversal of roles within their relationship that creates factions that means that it’s far from coming up roses.

For most of his Jay Roach has directed comedies, such as the Austin Powers films and Meet the Parents, so this feature, based on the 1981 novel The War of the Roses by Warren Adler, is about as sure as a sure thing can be.

It even gets better with the savvy casting of Cumberbatch and Colman, who just so happen to be two of the best actors of their generation.

But to borrow a culinary metaphor, it doesn’t matter the quality of the ingredients you have, or a tried and tested recipe you're using, it can go tits up in the cooking. And The Roses isn’t appetising in any way at all.

It was written by Australian Tony McNamara, whose collaborations with Yorgos Lanthimos on 2018’s The Favourite and Poor Things were sublime, who also created the truly impressive TV show The Great that was so good it evokes one response from watching it - huzzah! It has to be said however, he figuratively drops the ball with this one.

The issue isn’t necessarily with the glib dialogue though – not wholly – but the film’s overall tone. Under Roach, the performances are very theatrical, that would no doubt work far better on stage; you can almost see Cumberbatch and Colman on their marks on stage, and projecting with a heady mix of clarity and venom. It does not translate well at all to the screen, where it finds itself caught between a rock and hard place. The relationship, which is the core of the film, attempts a subtlety and vulnerability of real couples at some points, then counters them with over the top, aggressive comedy. And they just don’t balance at all.

Talking of which, there’s an issue with balance – or lack of it – within the script. It is a see-saw affair all the way through, where at one point a character is up and the other down, and then vice versa, and this see-saws back and forth a number of times. It’s uneven and jarring, being consistently inconsistent.

All of which means that the roles are caricatures, which cause them to be completely unrelatable.

There is comedy to be found, very sparingly, with Kate McKinnon as one of their friends, outfunnying anyone else every time she’s on screen.

The Roses is an epic misfiring, considering all the top talent involved, disappointingly so, proving that there is a science to making films, that’s more than chemistry, and regardless of enthusiasm, you can still walk away with an F.