Men in masks and Lycra haven’t done too badly at the box office over the years. There’s a certain magical quality surrounding superheroes and villains that stirs the child in many of us. So the opportunity of watching some of our childhood comic heroes come to life and battle it out on the big screen is a thoroughly appealing one.

Superman, Batman and Spidey have all enjoyed success in their transition from the comic book to the movie screen. But at what point down the superhero lineage do we realise we’ve gone too far? Not every superhero deserves their own film, surely? Is there a stage where audiences will just say enough’s enough? Ladies and gentleman, we give you The Green Hornet.

Whoever said money doesn’t make you happy is clearly not spending it right. Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) is the happiest of wealthy chappies. What makes him happier is the fact that he doesn’t have to work for his fortune, as his father has already done that for him; his dad being James Reid, a wealthy newspaper publisher.

Britt enjoys partying, enjoying life and partying some more, much to his father’s chagrin. But one day, his father suffers from a severe allergic reaction to an insect sting and dies. Britt suddenly finds himself with a newspaper to run. It’s a task he clearly isn’t capable of achieving on his own. Luckily for him he’s quickly introduced to one of his father’s employees, Kato (Jay Chou); not only does he make a damn fine cup of Joe, but he could give 007’s Q a run for his money in terms of inventiveness.

The pair strike up an unusual friendship that eventually leads them down the path of crime-fighting. They soon decide that the best way to tackle crime would be to pretend to be criminals themselves; they would fight the good fight from the inside. And so the vigilante The Green Hornet is born.

With Kato’s inventive knowhow, the pair have a wealth of gadgetry at their disposal to help rid the city of crime. The problem they encounter though is that they soon start to tread on the toes of head criminal honcho Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz). And so begins a battle of good-pretending-to-be-evil versus evil.

Listen, I think I know the way out of this film, follow me.

Despite being a bone fide comic book hero, the Green Hornet actually began life as a radio serial. And on this evidence, it’s got a great premise for radio.

Maybe it’s because it’s a regional thing (with his appearance on radio, comics and TV all occurring in the States), but unless you’re a hardcore comic aficionado (i.e. geek), this character won’t mean a lot to a UK audience.

That fact could have easily been overlooked if he was at all cool. He’s not. Technically, there’s nothing ‘super’ about him; he has no powers, no incredible strength or even a super-smart mind. He’s just a guy with a wad of cash in his pocket who thinks it would be neat to be a superhero. In short, he’s nothing more than Bruce Wayne without all the cool bat bits and pieces. So what they’ve made here is essentially a Bruce Wayne and Robin film; that sounds about as much fun as... well, sitting through this film.

Rogen has shown elements of charm in previous titles, but is about as out of his depth as an actor can get here. You won’t see an actor squirm more awkwardly in a part all year. He’s not helped by a script that appears to be almost apologetic with every dreadful line delivered. And so it should be.

It gets worse. Rogen and Chou have absolutely no chemistry on screen. Chou is certainly a creative force; in his native country of Taiwan he’s a successful musician, film producer and actor. For his first big foray into a Hollywood film however, he displays the same kind of enthusiasm and eagerness to please as Jackie Chan did in his early US work, as well as a similar fish out of water performance. When looking to lean on his co-star however, Rogen gives him the same kind of support you’d expect from a chair made of red jelly.

It doesn’t get any better with the arrival of Cameron Diaz as Lenore; female characters in these masculine comic capers rarely make that much impact, and despite playing an anti-love interest, Diaz’s character doesn’t deviate from this theory.

And the poor icing on this, the most disagreeable of cakes, is French director Michel Gondry. This is the first full feature from him since 2008’s inventive Be Kind Rewind; sadly the only dynamic part of this poor effort are its end credits. Everything up to that part is a long-winded, pointless mess.

With far more interesting superhero flicks set for this year (Thor, Green Lantern, Captain America and X-Men: First Class), if you’re going to see only one comic hero character this year, for the love of (any) God, make sure it’s not this one.