Every kid has a tale of woe to tell about their parents. Usually they involve how they embarrassed you in public in front of their friends, or that they would laugh in their sleep after a bout of heavy drinking, or that daddy left to spend time with your new ‘uncle’ Gary. We’ve all had our fair share of trauma pie. None can compete with the young Logan though, who gets in quite the tizz when he discovers that a man has just killed his father.

It releases something deep within him – a rage, which he unleashes upon his father’s murderer. With his final words, the dying man reveals that he is actually Logan’s real father. Oops. Confused, he runs off with Victor, who has just been promoted to the rank of new brother. Through a montage of war clips, spanning a hundred years or so, we soon realise that both men are invincible and are impervious to the pains of war.

The pair soon become part of an elite fighting force known as Team X, made up entirely of mutant stock. Logan (Hugh Jackman) becomes jaded with the team’s constant penchant for killing. He not only turns his back on them, but on his brother Victor (Liev Schreiber). However, walking out on Team X has serious repercussions for Logan, which leads to him becoming the mutant known as... Wolverine.

Okay, who's the joker who added the cold water?

And so Wolverine’s back story begins. This is the fourth time that Jackman has grown bushy sideburns and a shiny set of carving knives for fingers, to play the lupine one. This instalment precedes the X-Men trilogy, focusing as it does on the origin of the character. This is usually the dullest component for most superhero flicks, as audiences these days are well versed in their favourite character’s beginnings – Spidey’s radioactive bite, Superman’s arrival from the planet Krypton etc. Although the X-Men comics are popular and the film trilogy has made the characters even more so, their pasts aren’t as readily familiar to the average Cineplex goer, which certainly works to the film’s advantage.

Unfortunately, it also acts as its Achilles heel. At one point in the film, Logan is injected with adamantium; and although it sounds like it would give him the power to kill opponents with lyrics from Prince Charming, Stand And Deliver etc, it’s actually a metal alloy that ultimately turns him into Wolverine. Submerged in a tank, while needles are penetrating various points in his body, tension is supposed to mount as we are lead to believe it’s a live or die process. However, knowing this is a prequel of sorts, and that Wolverine appears in three other films after these events... This goes to prove that it’s really difficult to put your main character in any sense of real peril in a set up like this, because the audience already knows the outcome. And where’s the fun in that?

The choice of director is a curious one too. Gavin Hood has only directed two full features – 2006’s Oscar-winning Tsotsi, and the Reece Witherspoon thriller (which is surely an oxymoron) Rendition. Neither of these featured any special effects, which may be part of the problem here. The effects on this feature are pretty underwhelming. When Jackman walks away from a huge explosion behind him, it’s clear that he was nowhere near it when it went off. Another scene sees a helicopter come crashing out of the sky with the same believability as a Thunderbird craft.

Another strange omission is blood. There are plenty of pointy objects either hitting other people, or finding their way inside them, and yet when they’re removed, they’re as clean as the proverbial whistle. Even in the comics you get to see the red stuff flow, so why not in film? Surely it’s a better message to convey that if you happen to stab someone with something sharp, the chances are they will bleed. As opposed to "wow, he was stabbed like 10 times and there was no blood. Cool, let’s try that when we get home..."

It’s also a shame that not only is the story a tad on the convoluted side, the script also lacks any real sparkle or humour. Where’s the wit? The jokey, comic banter? Not here.

A nice surprise however, was the inclusion of Liev Schreiber; here is one of the most talented young actors in Hollywood, taking a break from serious roles and having a real blast playing Victor. It’s a character that he clearly enjoyed sinking his teeth into.

Jackman also seems comfortable with the role, which should be the case considering all the practice he’s had.

There are enough geeky references and wink wink moments for fans of all things X-Men to make this particular feature a worthwhile experience. Maybe for the rest of us however, we might be suffering a little from superhero (/mutant) fatigue. With more on the way, they’ve got try to be less formulaic and more fun. There’s nothing worse than feeling disappointed by one of your comic idols, underperforming on the big screen. Really, there isn’t.